


All You Want Is Someone Onto Whom You Can Cling

by A_Tomb_With_A_View



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex and Luke are still working through things, Alex has anxiety, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I tried my best, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, It was the 90s???, M/M, Panic Attacks, Period Typical Homophobia, Reggie has fibromyalgia (referenced), Requested, Taylor kare is attractive okay the boys know this, basically Alex’s parents kick him out and he panics and goes to Reggie, i think, ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27685496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Tomb_With_A_View/pseuds/A_Tomb_With_A_View
Summary: Alex wasn’t sure why he was surprised by the way his mom’s smile dropped as soon as the words left his mouth.He’d planned for this eventuality, known it was the most likely. He’d been to the same sermons they had, after all.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Past Alex/Luke Patterson
Comments: 22
Kudos: 224





	All You Want Is Someone Onto Whom You Can Cling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HallowsEve1031](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallowsEve1031/gifts).



> Bonsoire kiddos  
> Uh, so this was a request from my friend for Alex’s parents kicking him out cue panic attack plus Alex/Reggie with angst  
> So uh, I hope I did a decent job? I have a little bit of experience with homophobic parents and a lot with panic attacks so hopefully this kinda works? Idk tbh I’ve had a lot of coffee and little sleep but hopefully it’s okay

Alex wasn’t sure why he was surprised by the way his mom’s smile dropped as soon as the words left his mouth. 

He’d planned for this eventuality, known it was the most likely. He’d been to the same sermons they had, after all.

But still, shock was what hit him first, was what kept him numb through the yelling, the tears, the sharp burning pain as someone’s open palm connects with his cheek. It kept his hands from shaking as he grabbed the bags he’d packed that morning. It blurred everything out until he was cycling to the garage, until it faded away and the  _ panicgriefuncertaintyterror  _ hit, seizing his limbs so suddenly that his bike swerved, overloading his brain enough that he could still only feel the cold air against his stinging cheek, not the blood dripping from the grazes on his hands and knees. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how he made it to the garage, considering how his eyes were blurred and stinging the whole ride, though he supposed he’d done the route enough times in enough conditions - blackout drunk for the first time ever, high on endorphins after his first kiss, in the pitch black and freezing cold, numb with an odd cocktail of determination and terror the day he told Reggie he loved him - that he figured the route was engraved into his muscle memory. 

It was the thirty second walk from outside the garage to inside the garage that made him freeze. 

Reggie was likely alone in there, which was the best case scenario because his boyfriend tended to have a hot water bottle, an incredible mountain of blankets, an apocalypse-survival-kit amount of comfort food, and hugs to spare. Reggie also got the whole  _ the people who were supposed to love you and be there for you unconditionally have done major fucked up in that particular wheelhouse  _ gig, and would probably just hold him and let him cry and then suggest a 3 am taco run once he’d processed the cataclysmic shift in reality. 

But… it was  _ Bobby’s  _ place. And as much as Alex loved Bobby - which he absolutely did, Bobby was the total bomb, and he funny and he was cute and he wore suspenders and Alex was  _ in love  _ with Reggie but eye candy never went amiss - Bobby would probably get protective and angry and while he’d almost certainly appreciate that in the morning, once the indignation and fury kicked in and he remembered that he was the child they’d chosen to bring into the world and  _ how dare they act anything but fucking grateful that he’d made it this far _ , but for now he needed quiet and calm and the soft understanding that Reggie never failed to provide. 

Luke could also be there, and while he and Alex were a long way from the awkward half-glances and halted touches that had made up their friendship in the first few months after their awkward break up, they hadn’t quite reached sobbing into each others arms again. As much as Alex was sure they only needed time to get over themselves, he wasn’t ready to deal with the hell that would be trying to spiral about his parents whilst trying to maintain Luke’s comfort. 

In the end, it was Reggie who made the first move, cutting through the building panic by opening the garage side door and blinding Alex with the concerningly bright fairy lights he’d strung up. “Hey, Lexi, everything okay?” 

Before Alex even really registered what was going on, he was moving forward, gathering Reggie up in his arms and burying his face in the crook of his neck. “I fucked up, Reg.” 

Reggie’s hands quickly slid up his back and gripped his shoulders. “Woah, what happened, man?” 

He pulled back enough to be heard, still holding as tightly as he thought wouldn’t hurt Reggie. “I-I told them and-and..” he got out, voice strangled ans shoulders heaving. 

“C’mon, ‘Lex. It’s okay, inside we go.” Reggie led him inside, pushing him to collapse onto the sofa then staying stood up to give Alex the choice of whether he stayed touching him or gave him space. 

He tugged Reggie down as gently as possible so the other boy was half laid on top of him, the weight grounding but not quite suffocating. “I didn’t.. I ca-can’t…I knew I was gonna,” he finally managed after catching his breath. “I had my bags all, all packed… and I- and someone slapped me and I don’t know who it was and I don’t remember what they said except I can’t go home and my little sister is still there, Reg, I can’t - I can’t just leave her there, except I can’t take h-her away because I don’t have, have a house or a job and-and-” his words sped up as the panic began to burn in his chest, thoughts whirling at a hundred miles an hour.

Reggie tapped a steady beat out on Alex’s collarbone. “Ava is safe,” he told him quietly. “Your parents aren’t gonna hurt her, and she’s gonna be fine. Okay?” 

“I - okay.” He nodded, hands fluttering around his throat. “I can’t. Um - Water?” 

“On the table, buddy.” 

He grabbed the bottle and fumbled with the cap for a minute, chewing his lip in frustration when his shaking hands couldn’t quite get it to twist off. 

“Do you want me to-” 

“I can do it!” 

“I know, ‘Lex, but I can do it faster,” Reggie bargained, easing the bottle out of his hands. “You can prove how strong you are later, but it’s more important you have a drink now, yeah?” 

He nodded jerkily and concentrated on trying to hold the bottle steadily enough to take sips without spilling once he got it back. “I don’t even know why I’m surprised,” he said eventually, voice scratchy. 

Reggie just motion for him to keep talking, rubbing circles onto the back of his hand. 

“I mean. I know...I knew that this would be a possibility, it’s why I had everything packed but I guess. I didn’t think it would really happen. I thought - I thought that they’d get over it.” He laughed weakly. “I just. When I got my first panic, panic attack, they just. They researched it, and got o-over what they thought about that kind of thing and I thought this might be the same thing, y’know?” 

“I know, man.” 

Alex rested his chin on his hand, digging his nails into his jaw. “How can.. how could they invest  _ that  _ much into a kid - into  _ me,  _ and then stop caring just because, just because I’m-” he cut himself off, panic surging up his throat. “Reg, I can’t - I don’t..”

Reggie moved back immediately to give him space to breathe. “Hey, it’s okay Alex. D’you wanna go outside?”

He nodded and let Reggie guide him to his feet before stumbling to the door, gripping the frame as he breathed in lungful of cool night air that made him dizzy. 

“There we go,” Reggie soothed quietly. “Can you go through that phrase thingy the school counsellor went through?” 

Alex cleared his throat and nodded, reaching for Reggie’s hand. “My name is.. my name is Alex Joyner. I live in L-Los Angeles, California. Today is Thursday the 21st of July, 1994. It’s-” he scrubbed a hand across his face then glanced at his watch, “it’s 11:49 in the evening. We’re at Bobby’s garage. You’re Reggie, you’re my boyfriend, you smell like coffee. My hands hurt.” 

“We’ll talk about the hands later,” Reggie joked fondly. “But is that helping?” 

“I think so,” he answered, exhaling shakily. “I just. I’m. Why is this what broke them?” He finally managed. “They  _ love  _ you. They would literally adopt you given a second chance and I don’t understand why the fact that I also love you just not in an adopting way or a brotherly way is a problem! I know that they’re scared because of - because of what it’s like for people like me, for people like us, out there, but surely that’s even more of a reason to want to keep me home where I’m safe not kick me out to - to find my own way!” 

“I know.” Reggie held his free arm out in question. “Do you need space or weight right now?” 

Alex opened his mouth to say weight, so Reggie had something to do instead of just watching him panic which he  _ knew  _ was hard for him, but the idea of being wrapped up was honestly terrifying and if he got worse while Reggie was holding him that would probably be even worse. “Can we do the thing we do when you get flares and you don’t wanna be touched but also you do?” 

Reggie nodded and let him to the patio. They laid down maybe a foot apart, staying hand in hand. 

After a while of just watching the stars and listening to Reggie breath, the cold seeping through his t shirt from the flagstones underneath him, he rolled onto his side, propping his head on his hand, wincing at the pressure of his jaw on the grazes. “Thanks, Reg. I know it’s… I know it’s scary. So. Thanks.” 

Reggie smiled at him brightly, cheeks pink. “Anytime, ‘Lex. I love you.”

“I love you too, man.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated if y’all like this, which btw I’m absolutely shook by this fandom it’s super active and I nearly cry reading comments like all the time so thank you so much 💜💜  
> Just for those who may be wondering since I’ve started getting questions, I’m super happy to take requests, I have a couple things re topics I’m willing to touch in the angst department but otherwise message me on tumblr if you’ve got any ideas/questions


End file.
